We now know. 99 days. 99 beautiful days of relentlessly loving a sweet, sweet little boy named Eliot. 99 days that were a miracle. 99 days that I wish I could remember better. He has been gone for 3 months now, and my sadness & my missing him so badly makes everything, the wonder of his life, so hazy. It makes the joy of that day & of the 98 days that followed hazy; God broke through the haze for one short hour and helped me to see…He gave me a glimpse of His glory. I wait for more glimpses that will eventually turn into long stares at the glory of God through a little boy’s life. I know glory lives there. On day 99 I saw Eliot breathe his last breath. I was there, and despite the despair, I remembered on my visit back to the hospital that I also saw him breathe his first.
Ek’t dit ook op Oprah gesien in die week. Ek en Francois het mekaar net styf vasgehou en altwee gehuil. Dit kan nie maklik wees nie. Dis ‘n pratige verhaal van hoop. ‘n Verhaal wat drs nie eers die eerste bladsy van wou oopmaak nie. Carina, ek dink so baie aan jou en jou gesin. Daar gaan nie een aand verby wat julle nie in my gebede is nie. Maar al hierdie dinge ten spyt maak dit nie jou seer en hartseer minder nie. Ek is hartseer saam jou.
I cannot even imagine what you are going through but I can tell you that God and prayer to God will help you cope - although you will never forget. What you are doing is good, although some may debate that : It is seldom a good thing to throw a switch and attempt to go on with life as if everything is fine. Sometimes we need to grieve and re-experience pain to heal ourselves from within but such a process should not be often repeated. Your child lives in all the beautiful things in this world, in the brightness of a full moon night and the splendour of a sunrise and sunset. Visit and orphanage and make a child or two feel special. Reach out to the lonely, sad and depressed because it is only when we help others that life has meaning. May God be with you for every step of the way. My prayers are with you. GOD BLESS!
